She Gave More

Rob Bell said something that never truly dawned on me (it should have years ago), when Jesus tells the story of the widow’s mite, he said, “She gave more.” I heard that and couple of days later I woke up thinking about that statement and it went right through me. I knew cognitively what Jesus was saying there, the widow gave out of her poverty and she gave with a more pure heart towards what God was doing and the wealthy man gave out of his affluence and clear lack of true charity, but in actual kingdom terms, on this earth and in the world to come, that woman gave more. Now whatever that money actually went to we will never know, we will never know if it went to buy gold for the temple or food for widows like her, but what is clear is that besides all of the “give out of your wealth with a pure heart stuff”—that’s the stuff I always heard until now, Jesus finds someone who gets weak enough and strips off enough for Him to really take notice of her. It’s like when God tells Gideon that he’s got too many men, or when Paul keeps claiming that Christ’s strength is made perfect in our weakness. I have thought about that verse many times over the past year and all the shit that’s happened, and I’ve been utterly frustrated by it. What do you mean your strength is perfect in my weakness? Intuitively it should be God’s strength is made perfect in my ability to put myself together and do all the things I think that he thinks I should be. That is truly probably the most trying part of my walk right now. Actually realizing how to see myself like Christ sees me, practically, like while I’m sitting at my desk working my ass off because of a whole lot of reasons I’m probably not even man enough to really admit to anyone. Vanity & self righteousness are more deadly than anyone ever gives them credit for. Back to the widow. I have always known that I should tithe and or give to what God is doing because it really does shape me into the person that I know God wants me to be, but I thought about it often as not only a percentage based thing (which is a good thing), but also a I don’t know also a numbers things. I don’t think that I ever really though, “oh, I’m not really giving enough to the Lord.” or that I thought my giving was insignificant. Actually when I was better at giving (and saving mind you), I especially realized that giving was WAY more for me than for God. It is always to get my heart right. Generosity always breads joy. But what I realized when I woke up thinking about the widow’s mite was literally…less is more. When you give when you have less, it’s literally more gain and benefit to you in this world and the next. Now, believing that and doing that are just plain hard, but it’s true. I am given basically $800 a month by God to use towards stewarding them in my life towards building the kingdom of God in this life and the next. When I give some of that meager amount away, it’s a big deal to God. And I don’t know if I ever really realized how big a deal it was. If people really saw everything they had as a stewardship or a loan from God, the way we view stuff would dramatically change. I know it would for me. I really hope that I can get to the place where I have some very nice things that I use all the time (cameras & computers, etc), but also some very subpar things (cars & housing, etc) that could be a whole lot nicer, but me (and hopefully my wife) have chosen to downgrade and invest in people, organizations and in churches that make this world the way that it should be. That’s the world and sphere of influence I want to spend my time and money living in.